Bad Words

I always think that I’m not a feminist because I am not offended by people catcalling or appalled that a woman would choose to stay home with her children instead of work. Feminism is almost a bad word, conjuring ideas of radicalism and hairy armpits. However these days it’s becoming harder and harder not to be a feminist. I think the Internet has allowed so many people access to a forum to share their thoughts anonymously that sexism is everywhere and it’s not just garden-variety “men are better than women,” it is aggressive frightening exposure of women to constant male aggression. It’s a sad state of affairs when increased access to expression means increased nastiness but I guess that’s what we see everywhere from Twitter trolls to Internet comment boards. Maybe people are worse than before or maybe it’s just that any jerk face in his basement can share his thoughts where as before it was hidden.

Either way this comes to mind because I was sitting in class today checking my Tinder (which I guess you can argue is inappropriate in the first place…) and the first thing that appeared to me was a dick pic someone put in their Tinder moments with the caption “come on over.” I’m faced with this once a week or so. I report the inappropriate picture and feel like a schoolmarm tattling, but I’m sorry, it’s not cool.Here’s this picture of his male parts that is an attack on me. I’m innocently checking my phone and someone is forcing me to see that without any forewarning or any choice. A swipe is not a request for an assault on my eyes, but apparently just by being a woman I’m supposed to deal with that and presumably enjoy it.

Same thing on a date when you turn around and there it is. It’s not a slice of pizza! No one is hoping to turn around and see that, but guys act all proud like a cat bringing you a dead mouse.

Guys. We don’t enjoy it. Stop.

Tinder removed moments just days after this happened and I’m going to pretend it was to protect subscribers from this rather than it just being a lame idea.

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