I’m sensitive.

I admit it.

Even though according to my own brain and everyone around me, being sensitive is akin to joining ISIS. (Or ISIL? Are they the same thing? Who can keep up with online dating and current events.)

I try not to reveal any feelings to anyone but the fact is I am selectively sensitive. I like a reasonable amount of good-natured teasing from those around me; I feel it shows a certain depth of relationship when someone can effectively make fun of me. Like, I’m a hoarder, but only my closest friends know that, so when you tease me about jury rigging a chair with old parts, I appreciate it.

But when you equate “having feelings” with “being too sensitive”, that’s not cool. Telling me you wish I never bothered to visit (after a semi-argument) isn’t a hilarious joke, it hurts my feelings. When you say I used to be so pretty before dying my hair, it’s kind of offensive. And when I get up the courage to tell you it hurts my feelings and you say I shouldn’t be so sensitive, that’s bs.

Anyhoo, needless to say I get a little sensitive when people call me sensitive. Hence my involvement in a tet-a-tet with this sociopath.

Setting the scene: a cold fall night on okcupid. A sort of handsome guy with a disturbingly intense profile sends a cute message. We engage in banter. And then:

Alright alright…. enough of that tangent. I’m really not good at the small talk. Such a ritual.

What are you truly looking for? What do you really want out of this site and out of a partner? If you include the phrase ‘down to earth’ you’re doing it wrong. Be fearless. Actually write more than one sentence in your description. Take a chance. I wanted to see how long the trivial banter could go on with you and it looks like… indefinitely. Stop the train. Do not pass go. If what you’re looking for matches who I am then I’d like to continue. If not, then we are both holding each other back from finding our respective King or Queen.

I responded that this was more intense than I’m looking for and I don’t think I’d wanted to pursue a relationship with him. Well, that is not ok…

Ummm I didn’t say anything about you starting a relationship with me. Please copy and paste where I did. I asked you what you want.

Try to utilize your English skills correctly or get lost.

And yes I am intense. I clearly state so in my profile. That’s why knowing how to use your native language properly is of utmost importance. Try it out! 😉

And here it begins. I reiterated my disinterest and shared my pet peeve: putting a smiley after statements doesn’t make them any less aggressive. Being an ass with a smiley face is still being an ass.

PS: I’m not being aggressive maybe? Perhaps you’re overtly sensitive? Relax. It’s just a dating website.

I played it cool and made fun of his spelling mistake, which he responding really well to, apologizing and saying I had the wrong impression of him. Ok fine. So we went back and forth a little more. Then his account disappeared, so obviously I didn’t respond. 2 days later I get:

Or not? So I guess I should judge you compared to every woman I’ve dated before and my experiences on here then. Well if that’s the case then…

You’re just like the rest. Peace

• Me: When I went to respond to you it said your account was disabled. But if you’d like to continue jumping to conclusions go right ahead.

   
• Him: I was simply utilizing YOUR bag of tricks. It’s called satire. Look into it when you’re not shopping for UGZ and watching TMZ.
  Me: Jesus you’re a miserable jackass. Please stop judging/jumping to conclusions/”satirizing” and take some time to figure out why you hate women.
• Him: Again I really don’t think you know what satire is. It’s making fun of something for the purposes of improvement. I am making fun of YOU by jumping to completely ridiculous conclusions based on no evidence whatsoever so YOU can see that when you did that to me it was completely uncalled for.
  Me: I don’t care for the way you’re speaking to me, and I would prefer not to “relax” but rather to end this conversation.

• So basically you don’t like being judged based on utter bullshit right? Imagine that… you judged me on utter bullshit. See how that works?

  I really don’t care if we keep talking. I can go either way. Your observational and reasoning skills are kind of lacking. Also you’re way too sensitive.

  So if you want to end the conversation stop writing to me and/or block me.

  Or you know… grow up. Either way works for me.

  Take care. 🙂