I’ve been “unconventionally employed” for over a year now. I left my stable job of almost 10 years to relocate and pursue other things that could basically all fall under the umbrella of self employment. I had something part time lined up when I left that job, and the first 6-9 months went really well, but since then it’s been drips and drabs of employment.

This is pretty much how I want it. Yes, there are times when I’m feeling sorry for myself and whine “I have no job, no boyfriend, no hopes for the future…” (Adding the no job to the no boyfriend rounds out the pathetic nicely.) But mostly, I want to work for myself and/or work part time to have time for my own pursuits. If that means I have to go awhile without a job, it’s ok. I have no major responsibilities right now, so why not wait to find something good.

The problem is everyone else. People can’t seem to even fathom any out of the ordinary life choices. It is universally assumed I am depressed and struggling, and it’s just so hard to believe I can’t find something, and why don’t I network more, and someone’s cousin’s uncle heard the McDonald’s an hour away is hiring so why don’t I call them. This was the case even when I had my part time gig. The job was unorthodox, and people constantly responded “oh, that’s interesting. Want me to give your name to X in case they’re hiring?”

No, I don’t. I don’t want to make $40,000 for the rest of my life. That is the most depressing thought of all. So many people are scrambling to make a good impression and do well at work to just make enough money to pay for the gas to get to work and go to Florida one weekend a year?

Maybe I am ambitious. Just not in the way I’m supposed to be.

I’m proud of being different, I’m proud of doing things my own way. But it makes everything so hard. Why does it have to be so hard?

I Am Not Ambitious

My friends are not ambitious. I know very few people who are ambitious. We’re all smart, we all went to college and did well, we’re all good at what we do, but it ends there.

I don’t want any extra responsibilities. I don’t want to lead people! Who wants to be in charge and get all the grief when things go wrong. I go to work, I do my thing, and I go home.

I’m really good at what I do and everyone likes me (I may even go so far as to say beloved), but at the end of the day I’d rather get home at a reasonable hour than accolades.

I have no excuse like kids at home for this lack of focus on career. Who are these people who are willingly devoting more time than required to work when they could be napping?