One morning, you wake up, you look in the mirror, and you realize you’re 33 and you keep all your important documents in the bathroom.

It starts slowly. First there are some magazines. Then a letter. A bag for recycling. Finally, when you need to check the date of the baby shower, you go straight for the invite on the toilet.

I guess I started picking up my mail after work and going straight to the bathroom…and why wait to open a letter if you can multitask. You’d waste precious seconds that could be devoted to being anxious about the surprise doctor’s bill you just opened while peeing.