For the first time in my life, I came home tonight and sobbed after a haircut. I’m not always pleased, but I’ve never cried. Which is odd, as I pretty much cry at least once a day.

This was a new place I decided to try because I had been trying for a month to get an appointment at my normal place (which was no longer convenient to my work) and there wasn’t going to be one with my usual stylist for at least another month. A new acquaintance recommended this place and even called and got me the appointment. Reviews online were overwhelmingly 5 star, save a few 1 star reviews railing against terrible cuts.

First of all, I went in blonde with clearly visible roots and wanted “blonde highlights so everything brightens up.” I showed 7(!) pics of my hair at its ideal color. Long story short, my hair is now uniformly brown. There’s dimension, but it’s brown dimension. Before she even finished blow drying she was starting to say how it takes a few days for the highlights to lighten and I could come back for more highlights if it wasn’t light enough.

What?!

I need to wait 3 shampoos to figure out if you did my hair right? Organic hair color is “exactly the same” until it’s not and screws up my hair. Please return my harmful chemicals and my lovely highlights.

And that was before the terrible cut. I had grown out my hair for 18 months and wanted about 2 inches off with some shape. Long story short, 5 inches, completely blunt all the way around. I said this when she finished and she did a few angles around the face but still totally blunt around the rest of the way. I of course wish I had spoken up more, but you second guess yourself when you’ve already spoken up and the expert says it’s done. I don’t even really know how it can be fixed. It’s too short now for long layers and any other shaping.

It’s not the end of the world of course. It may even seem fine tomorrow. It’s just so sad that all those months of growing are gone for something not even cute. And it makes me second guess myself as an adult (as always). Why can’t I communicate better what I want? Why can’t I speak up better in the moment. I feel like I did more than I would have in the past but still not enough. I think that environment just makes you feel like you need to trust the stylist (like the doctor, or masseuse, or nail technician, or mechanic…). We’re all conditioned to feel that speaking up = complaining = being rude vs. being assertive, and as someone who has a problem speaking up in general, it’s just that much harder in this type of situation. I don’t feel I was rude or out of line at all, but I also don’t feel I got what I want…

What is the best way to be sure you get what you want? And how do you find new stores when you move? I’ve bopped around to many salons by reading reviews and have never had this problem before. This time I even had a personal recommendation! I hated the hair of everyone in this place tonight, but that’s usually not a good signal because hair stylists are trendy. *(@#%*(&%(*$@##)&%@*%&@!!!!!! Why is everything so hard!