[From a guy 12 years older and 304 miles away]

Hey there 😉 so i won’t waste your time and I will be honest. I am a sweet, fun and down to earth guy. I think we have a good bit in common and would get along nicely. So it wouldn’t hurt for you to message me and see where goes. So if you like what you see message me;)

Your very pretty :). So what are you looking for

You like Italians ;)???

[after 3 no responses he’s not deterred, so:]

Me: …no

Him: Ok then well i tried. Considerably your loss

Me: I’ll just comfort myself with my ability to spell things correctly

Him: WOW Get over yourself

Him: No wonder your single

Obviously I’m the one with something wrong…

While all of this sounds great it comes with a catch. To be perfectly honest — despite all of the above I feel like I’m a bit of train wreck right now. I’ve been divorced for about two years and and have kind of let myself go — both physically and when it comes to my social life — and have become pretty kind of down about it at times. Rather than go out and do things I’ve been hibernating at home all winter which has only made things worse.

…um no thanks

[After 3 ignored messages]

I know I know. Im married. Guess u dont like bad boys

Me: Cheating on your wife doesn’t equal bad boy, it equals asshole.

Him: True that. Thanks for the reminder.

As much as I liked married Catholic “sexy” cops from other states, I think I dodged a bullet there.