I had a romantic rendezvous the other night. Date night is a misnomer; it was a rendezvous in the literal sense of the word. A meeting of two people. This is a person with whom I frequently rendezvous. Sometimes fraught with feelings, often not. The sometimes feelings is the problem, obvs. It’s awkward when there are feelings on my end because then I’m angry at the situation. It’s awkward when there are feelings on his end because what do I do about that. Oh that’s right, I just get super weird and reject any overtures of affection, so that later he says things like “well I was going to do X for you but you hate when I’m nice.” No I love when you’re nice I’m just incapable of intimacy!

We rendezvous’d out of town (I told you it was romantic). It was super hot, especially the opening convo.

All like “hey how’s it going?”

“Great, I just got these pants for $5.99 at TJ Maxx. How are you?”

“Good. So hey I think I’m gonna go see my friend for a little.”

“Nice, then I can watch the new Gilmore Girls! Have fun!”

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4 hours later and halfway through “Summer”

“Hey! What’ve you been doing? I’m pretty tired–bedtime?”

And that was the most action I’ve gotten in 3 months, yet kind of exactly what I want. I don’t actually want someone interfering in my activities with their opinions and needs. I just want someone to share in my shopping bargains and say good night.