I don’t even know what to say about this dialogue. Should I have ignored this guy since he was an ass from the get go (even in his profile)? Probably. Did I go out of my way to be kind to him? No. Is it my duty as a women to go out of my way to be kind to every guy who says hi to me through the interwebs? Apparently it is, and the rest of my life will be a struggle because of my refusal to do so.
PS: This guy is 15 years older than me and lives over an hour away.
Him: I would love to talk with you about […] and why you prefer the company of your dog over most people
Him: But it looks like you don’t want to…. Which is also ok
Me: I just hadn’t gotten a chance to respond, but your impatience makes me lose interest in chatting.
Him: I just noticed that you read and didn’t respond. It was an observation, not impatience. Had it been me, I would have responded “read your message, I’m busy right now but I’ll get back to you soon”. Every body handles things in their own way
Me: I’ve just noticed that guys will send a message, check visitors, and if they see I’ve looked but not responded within a few hours they’ll write back something pointed. Maybe I checked at a red light, maybe I checked at work and got called away. Regardless, it’s a turn off to immediately question me like that.
Him: People ask questions. Sorry if you’re turned off. That’s an over reaction to me
Him: If you react that harshly over the smallest things…. I can’t imagine how you’d react if something important happened.
Me: It happens constantly–as in several times a week–that I get a passive aggressive or aggressive message in this situation, and it shows a level of self absorption I’m not interested in.
Him: Sometimes an observation is an observation. And sometimes people just want to close the loop.
Me: Ok. I’m going to focus on the beach now. I love the beach. [as a dig at his comment that people shouldn’t put loving the beach in their profiles.]
Him: Can we meet before you go?
Me: Eh is I’m not interested
Him: Ya know… You could at least be polite, since you’re obviously kindness challenged. But it makes me laugh. Your already halfway to invisible and you’ve learned nothing. I wish you the best. It doesn’t get easier for women like you.
Me: You’ve questioned me since the very first message you sent, and I have shared that I did not care for your responses. I am not invisible or unkind to the literally dozens of people I encounter each day with whom I actually have relationships. I don’t need to spend my time stroking the ego of strangers on the internet. But thanks for the snap assessment of my entire being. I’m sure you’re a treat in person.