My friends and I made a rare Friday night venturing off the couch (and after 9pm no less!) in honor of Prince last night. This was at a sort of club/hipster dance party spot.

Our first mistake was showing up on time, which was understandably uncool, so at first we gave the dj a pass on the lack of Prince at the Prince dance party. An hour passes, then another. Throughout the night we’ve been asking for the Prince and he says it’s coming. Meanwhile we’re chatting with other dance floor denizens and learning none are over 23. Still no Prince as the clock strikes midnight and our dancing shoes turn into orthopedic slippers. I ask the dj a final time and he tells me to calm down.

We headed back to our respected couches, where we’re appreciated and no one makes us wait for cheese and SVU and the music we want when we want it.

Why is there no happy medium between college dance party and quiet craft beer emporium? Once we turn 25 are we too hideous to be seen moving rhythmically outside the confines of our kitchen after a few glasses of wine?

I don’t want to be cool. I just want to dance in public.

Prince would not stand for this.  Make America great again. Dancing for all!