Right Place, Right Time

I’m figuring out that my go-to guy type is the right place, right time guy.

This is the guy that’s totally up for anything at any time. He’s spontaneous and super fun. As long as you’re with him or available at the exact moment he decides to have fun.

Right Place, Right Time (RPRT) will text to see if you want to do something, and in the 10 minutes it takes you to respond/act cool by not responding too quickly, he’ll have found someone else to go with. He’ll literally go to your house, and if you’re not there, he’ll find plans with someone else before you make it home. “Sorry babe, things change fast with me!”

RPRT is always up to hang out, so he has an ever-expanding network contacting him and/or available for plans at any moment.

I like RPRT because RPRTs are super social and super laid back. They’re welcoming to everyone but completely not pretentious. And they’re having too much fun to settle down*! I’m attracted to RPRTs because I fancy myself a fun and spontaneous person. Take a half day to go day drinking on the waterfront? Yes! Sign me up!

Except I’m more of a spontanxious person…Take a half day to go drinking on the waterfront? Yes! Sign me up, after giving me at least 2 days’ notice and checking the weather. And please accept my wrath when the plan inevitably falls through because something else came up for you. (Something that is totally valid but still infuriating because something comes up every single time.) And accept my passive aggressive texts later trying to make you realize how hurt I am even though that thought never crosses your mind.

I’ve deleted RPRT from my phone a few times after especially egregious ditches. Like the one time I changed plans for a wedding to see him and something else came up. Or the time he called me to check if I was at a local bar because he didn’t want to run into me there while he was with another girl. (Or at least that’s what I decided the call was for. He swears he was nearby at happy hour and then his phone died). No, I don’t have his number memorized. But I do have confidence he’ll call again eventually, and I’ll have completely forgiven him. Because the lure of a 10 second window to decide whether you want to spend the day on a boat is too much to resist. And maybe someday his that whole “things change so fast” maxim will apply to him falling for me.

Wah Wah

*RPRT doesn’t settle down until the second he gets lonely and then he imprints on whatever girl he sees first and marries her within 6 months.

Two winners in one week!

A) am I a bad person because I sometimes just mess with dating people for my own amusement?

B) This escalated quickly.

C) Soo I kinda want to see what he meant? My next comment was “seriously?!” and he didn’t respond. $1000 could buy a lot of ice cream. And when I say hook up I mean like make out in the parking lot of a Dave Matthews concert…is that not what it means anymore?
D) Someone said cops hang out on dating sites looking for hookers. Is that true? If it’s true, do they target people whose profile is 3/5 dog pics? I will not be pleased if I made it to my 30s without being arrested and a online hooker sting is what takes me down.